I Want Him Dead
by ellapie
Summary: I love you not for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you." I'd die for you, your smile, your laugh. I'd take a bullet to catch a glimpse of your face. But you won't let go of the past. It's never coming back.
1. You are my all if I had anything

Bella looked more extraordinarily beautiful in this light; her radiance glowing in the gentle light of the sunset. She tilted her head back somewhat, her long hair winding into mahogany curls, tickling her elbows, but she was not bothered by it. Her eyes closed and her eyelashes entwined, and a smile won itself onto Bella's face. She turned to face me, her eyes copper, framed by her thick, long eyelashes. I couldn't see how she could think herself of anything plain – she was stunning, everything about her was amazing, there was just something about her and I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Her arms were behind her, holding her slim body up, two of her thin fingers tapping as if to a melody in her head, like singing a song in her mind. Her expression became more bemused.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

I realised I had just been gazing at her, trying to get inside her head, to understand her strange beauty. I chuckled to myself, trying to take in the moment, her face in its sincere perfection, to make the seconds immortal. I never wanted the minute to end. It's not like me to be so compassionate – I'm a guy, but Bella is like no one I've ever known. I would die for just a flicker of her smile. I would take a bullet for this girl. I think it's called love. But, I am pretty whacked anyhow – you can check my blood for that kind of crap.

"What?" She said softly in response to my low chuckle, an almost rhetorical question – she knew where this was going.

"Nothing," I reached up, before she could speak and drew a strand of her hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. I felt the electricity pass briefly between us – it was something I had become accustomed to, but could never quite get over it. Her skin was soft and cool as my hand brushed across it; her hair was like newly spun silk. She took it back again; and smiled a little. She smiled a lot near me; it was a rare thing for some people, but her eyes just seemed to smoulder into mine, as her grin got wider, her pointed, pearl-white teeth glinting at the faint light.

She looked into my eyes, more deeply than before, a small crease developing in the middle of her forehead, her eyes creasing in the corners, as if she was concentrating hard and puzzled. She put her hand around her waist, against her cornflower blue blouse, her hand delicate as the thin cotton.

"Nothing," I repeated, and rolled on my side so I could see her more properly. She also lowered herself down, embracing her head with her hands, our heads at the same height. I could put my hand on top of hers, I could see. I wasn't going to give up that easily. I took her hand off her waist and clasped it in mine, she cringed at the warmth of my hand contrasting against her cool skin, but I grinned and she turned her hand palm up. I entwined our fingers without even looking, but I liked the alternating colours – creamy brown and ivory.

It didn't mean anything – holding hands, although I could feel the blood rushing violently in my ears. She was wearing the bracelet I had given her – it was a Quileute thing really. I made it, it had taken me days and days, but I wanted it to be perfect, like she was to me. It was thin and silver, with a few indigo strands tangled with it, matching her shirt. It was a little big for her wrist, but she had thin, delicate wrists. Bella was incredibly delicate.

"I'm still going, Bella."

Bella looked at me like I was going crazy, a bewildered expression widening on her face.

"No you're not."

Bells was so stubborn sometimes, I felt like just leaving her lying in this field, but I liked her too much. That was the problem – I liked Bella way too much for my own good. She still hadn't figured out whether she liked me too. I was about to scold her, but I didn't, I just stayed where I was, never looking away from her eyes. Because I couldn't. She had a grasp on me, if I let go, if I looked away for a second, she might just disappear from me. She was too perfect. I hardly deserved to be her friend, let alone anything more.

_Get a hold of yourself, Jake. Nothing else is going to happen. You and Bella are just friends._

I don't believe in myself anymore, I don't believe that Bella and I are just friends, she is my best friend, and I love her, more than I should do. Sometimes I get impatient with myself, impatient with Bella. I wished she would just realise how much I am in love with her. I wished she knew my pain. Maybe she does. That freaking bloodsucker doesn't deserve to know anyone like Bella – he belongs where he was back before he was 'saved'. He belongs dead. How could he just leave her? To rot, to die, to age?

"How come?" I ignored the painful memories – the bloodsucker and Bella, sitting, laughing, him kissing her; she was totally hypnotised by him. I don't know if that was normal, but the parasite had Bella in a trance. In a second, he could just kill her. Like that. "Why should I not leave? Right now. I'll go." There was a little anger in my voice, and I struggled to control it. The memories were difficult to forget, and were fresh in my mind, burning my thoughts.

"Shut up, Jake."

"I'll go."

There was remorse in my voice.

"Jake," she said, sheepishly, a slight sigh in her tone. I don't know if she was thinking about the parasite, but she tried to let go of my hand. I loosen my grip slightly, but I raised her hand to my lips and kissed each of her fingers. She didn't struggle, she seemed happy enough at the moment; I didn't think I really should have been taking advantage of her, but I was feeling okay about it. Her skin was soft under my lips and I closed my eyes on every kiss. I wanted the moment to be perfect.

"Bella – I know I've told you before, but I can't get over it. And it sounds tacky and cheap, but I would take a bullet for you. Because you know what, Bells, I am in love with you, and nothing is about to change that. I want to spend every second of every day with you Bella. I like you so much it scares me. You remind me so much of my mother," I shuddered slightly, but Bella gripped my hands tighter. "And I don't know if you feel the same way, but as long as your heart is still beating, I am always going to be here, waiting. Because, you are all that I need. I am totally in love with you. I've never felt like this about anyone else before. I could tell you anything in the world, but you can already read me like a book"

Bella smiled slightly; probably an inside joke I'd never thought about – probably something between her and the parasite. Bella looked at my hand and hers, and stroked my hand with her thumb slowly and slightly against the top of my hand. Then, her gaze met mine, and it seemed like we were the only people alive, the only people ever who had existed, like if we looked away, we would die instantly. I could see she was a bit overwhelmed, but I felt a lot better telling her my whole story, how much I had felt from her, since I had realised I had loved her, which was really about the time we met years on from those fateful mud pie days. And I never wanted to let her go.

She looked deep in my eyes, as if she was trying to find the meaning of my existence, the reason behind my intense gaze. I didn't know myself what I wanted to find in Bella, why I wanted to and loved her so much. I wanted her to love me back.

Bella took in a deep breath, her cheeks blushing coral pink, her chocolate eyes glittering with unshed tears, her auburn hair awry and wild in the wind. "I love you too." She said softly. And she took in a breath as if she was about to say something else; and there was a pause. Bella bit her lip slightly, then realising she was doing it, stopped it.

But she didn't say anything more. I just looked at her, trying to remember all of her tiny little things that made her Bella, my head tilted a bit to the left, and she raised an eyebrow, her expression coy. It was amazing just to be her with her, to be so close to her. But sometimes, it felt so distant and far away from her, even though I could just reach out and kiss her. That was all I wanted to do in that moment, to kiss her, and to be with her forever. That wasn't exactly going to happen anytime soon, with her mind on Edward.

"Do you want to walk and talk?" She said, so slightly I nearly didn't hear it. Nothing can pass my supersonic ears.

"No. I want to stay here with you." I replied, and I could feel the tips of my ears going crimson.

"Are you going to leave me? I'll have nobody." Bella looked down at the sunset, and I could see she was thinking about him. She didn't like to say his name out loud – it probably hurt too much for her. She kept holding her waist across her stomach, as if there was a gaping hole, making her hurt inside. I just wanted to help her as much as I could, and if I scored in the process… It was harmless.

"You know what I want." I barked, my voice hoarse with the thoughts of Bella and me.

"You are really going to ask me that?" Bella replied, swallowing back her tears. She sat up quickly, letting go of my hand. Wiping her eyes on the back of her hand, she didn't turn back to me again. I think that leech must really have hurt her – but I wanted her more than she knew, more than the leech could ever had thought. We were supposed to be together.

"Yes." I said, ignoring my taunting thoughts. I wanted everything to be out in the open. I didn't want to keep any more secrets from Bella. She knew what I wanted and all I wanted was her.

She sighed, her cheeks flushing quickly before she wiped her eye again, taking the scarlet flash with her.


	2. I don’t know what to think anymore

Chapter Two.

She leant forward, slowly breathing out, our breath mingling, her sweet breath tickling my face. I couldn't help but keep gazing into those eyes of hers, in an almost trance – she was hypnotising me with her beauty and her random questions. I think it was her eyes. They drew me to her, and I could never think of letting go.

"I could help you," I said, my voice husky as I struggled to breathe. "I would be there for you every second of the day, every day of the week, every week of the year."

"I know." She replied softly, and she reached up to brush her hand against my cheekbone. Her cool touch was refreshing, and she looked at the grass swaying silently in the warm breeze. "Jacob,"

Her eyes returned to mine, and I quietly cupped her head in my hands, her chin rested on my big hands and I half-smiled at her. Her face was so small in my hands, her eyes were so big on her face, - almost amber in this strange light, and her hair was shockingly dark against her smooth, pale face, my wants were almost unnatural and unreal. What would happen if I just leant in a fraction of a millimetre, and kissed her? How would she take it? Would she kiss me back?

Before I knew what I was doing, I bowed my head at hers, our noses touching and I closed my eyes to breathe her in. It was her that kissed me first. Her head tilted back slightly and our lips touched, hers were as soft as I had imagined. I moved my hand to her neck, to stroke her long hair, twisting curls around my fingers.

Our kiss was brief, but sweet. We didn't go farther than just the lips, even though it was almost unbearable for me to resist her sugary, lilac honeysuckle aroma that circled around her as she breathed.

She looked at my chest, running her hands across the muscles that were beginning to bulge. I didn't tend to wear a lot since I did phasing too often – today I just had my cut off black sweats, and my last pair of sneakers. I felt a shiver run down my spine as she stroked my stomach, becoming more toned by the second – I guess it's a werewolf/guy thing.

"I lied to you." Bella said. She looked away from me, and glared at the sunset, the gentle oranges and pinks of the sky softening into each other, her hand resting on my chest, laid on my heart. My heart was hammering now. There was some anger swelling inside my mind, hurling my sense out of view.

"You're a bad liar, Bella." I answered, clenching my teeth and my fists as the words drifted out, watching Bella with my eyes wide at my thoughts.

"Sometimes." She said, her eyes becoming wetter but she didn't cry, her face screwing up, the crease in her forehead deepening.

"All of the time." I stated, my voice firm and inhuman - but what could I say? I wasn't as human as Bella was anyway. I could read Bella like a book, and I remembered that time walking down the beach, she flirted badly with me. She was a bad flirt, but I had been pretty lonely. I couldn't help myself.

"Forget everything I said last night, Jake. I'm sorry." Bella said. Last night? I wrecked my brains searching for the answer – we'd spoken on the phone briefly. She withdrew her hand and placed it over mine on the ground. Thinking about it, I could remember every single word of the conversation.

_"Bell," I said eagerly down the phone. Maybe Caller ID wasn't a good thing after all._

_"Hey Jake."_

"_Oh, hey Bella. It's nice to hear your voice again I guess."_

"_I'm not a sucker for pick up lines." _

"_You wouldn't even need a pick up line, Bell."  
"Shut up Jake!" Bella laughed down the phone, her grin wide on her face and all of her white teeth showing. She swallowed her laughter and put on a more serious tone. "So, I called you up to see if you wanted to go to that field we found the other day."_

_"Yeah?" I asked. Did my voice sound too keen? Most probably._

_"Yeah." She agreed. "I really do like you Jake. I know you get all weird about that sometimes, but hey, we're both freaks."_

_I chuckled to myself. "Who you calling a freak? I'm a six foot six werewolf." I laughed a little harder, but then stopped. " I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Billy's calling me"_

I had ignored her comment – she liked me, but I wasn't weak. She knew I liked her, and I wasn't about to say it to this old, dusty phone. No way. It was tempting, but no. It had to be a perfect time.

"I don't really remember it anyhow." I replied, my tone souring as I thought back.

"Huh." Bella breathed, her voice a little higher than usual. "When I said I liked you, I didn't mean it. I adore you Jake. You're my best friend and my worst enemy all rolled into one. You say stupid things and you are a werewolf for crying out loud," She laughed, "I wish I could be more to you than just Bella – but at the moment I just need to be with someone. At least to get me through this. You're my own personal sun."

She kissed me, before I even knew and my head was spinning. Short and simple, but I completely lost my angry train of thought. I loved her again, and she loved me. It felt good.

"Oh, and I do like your hair short. I can see your eyes better." Bella continued, reaching a hand up to run her fingers through my hair.

"I thought so." I lied.

We carried on talking until the blackness of night fell upon us. Bella was asleep very easily, so I carried her back to her truck, and lay her on the seat. Her hands wrapped a little tighter around my neck, and she kissed my cheek slightly.

"Edward, Edward," She whispered, disillusioned in her sleep. It hit me then. I drove her home without another word, going fast but carefully. I was angry, of course. First she loved me, and then she loved that leech. She kissed me, and then she fantasies of touching that parasite. It made me sick to the bone, ill to the core. I hated him more than anything, and it was hurting me to ignore her love for him. I didn't know how dominant her love for him was – if it was more than her love for me. I didn't want to think of it that way, but I couldn't help it.

That night, I sat in bed, thinking and dreaming of Bella. Not the normal thoughts either – I was thinking of her round with my child – our child. But then, the usual ideas hit home, me entering her, kissing her from top to toe without a second thought. My love was stronger than my lust, but I couldn't help but continually repeat in my head how she touched my stomach, running her hands across me, listening to my heart thump. All the anger had dissolved almost instantly – because I loved Bella. I would kill for Bella. Whether she loved me for me – that was another question.

**Authors Note:**

Well, hello there. Thank you for the comments, reviews and favourite things that appeared in my Inbox. It is nice to know that I am not talking to myself! I'm sure if I had some more I could write a little faster – I do intend to update the story every week or something, so stay tuned!


	3. This luck of mine

Chapter Three:

It was hard not to think of Bella, curling around her fragile, white-peach figure and as the hours ticked by, I could think of nothing else, the impossible task was impossible. I rubbed my eyes, tired from my imagination, but I could never get over Bella. I could always go around to Bella's house now – it was a perfectly normal thing to do. No, not normal, but normal for her and me. Just to watch her, to keep her safe. If she woke up and wanted some company, that was her choice. It was all her choice. It was all her choice to kiss me, her choice to touch me, her choice to be with me, her choice to spend all of her time with me.

So, it was decided. I didn't bother to slip on my black sneakers, torn and ripped from my endless phasing as I ran home from Bella's house earlier that day. I usually slept in my sweats as well in case I needed to go anywhere quick, and I needed to get somewhere quick, even if it wasn't an emergency. It was about midnight now, the moon was bright and the beauty bathed in the eerie moonlight. I could get out of the house pretty easily; Billy was a deep sleeper and thrashed his covers angrily as he slept. It made me wonder what he was dreaming of, but knowing his past, it was most probably a killer nightmare; maybe even something about him and Mom back when she was alive. I shivered a little at the thoughts of Mom. I slinked out of the house silently, and quickly tied my sweats around my waist. Bella's house was a short run away with my speed, and I was already burning up in the freezing cold wind.

Within sight of the house, my running slowed and as I gave a final long strode and phased back, unwrapping my sweats from my ankle and climbing into them, brushing a bit of crusting mud of my left knee. Bella's house was a white and green building, white wood climbing to the baby green roof. It showed some signs of neglect, but then again, Bella hadn't been here in years, and Charlie just worked all day, everyday. It was kind of sad for Bella, I guess. At Bella's room, the olive green paint of the window pane was rubbed off, and there was a couple of scratches and marks, as if someone had struggled to get in. But the window was open a little tonight, the darkness bouncing off the window, glittering at the clear panes. The thin, flimsy white-blue curtains swayed in the breeze, and reminded me of my favourite blouse that Bella sometimes wore – the blue one that emphasized her gentle shape and matched my handmade bracelet. I climbed up the nearest tree and grappled onto the windowpane. Without a second thought, I wrenched open the window and clambered in effortlessly without a sound. I guess it's a werewolf thing.

In the corner of the room, there was a rocking chair, swinging in the breeze. Bella, sensing the coldness of the room, pulled her duvet a little further up her body to her neck. I got around the room noiselessly, moving between the bookcase and the bed, and sat down on the rocking chair. It smelled faintly of those leeches – especially of him – but I tried my best not to let my anger and hate trickle down into my thoughts.

It was intriguing to watch Bella sleep, she would whisper and mouth words, scrambling around to find the best position for her, her hair spread like a fan on her emerald green pillow, her scent wafting towards me, tempting me to go and kiss her face, to comb her hair with my fingers. She smiled a lot when she slept, and sighed a lot too. She spoke about her mother and how she missed her, and sometimes even whispered about him. But I tried my best to calm myself down and not take my anger out on Bella and her room.

"Jacob, Jacob, Jacob," Bella whispered, breaking me away from my pattern of thoughts. But, she was only dreaming. But dreaming about me, or at least thinking, and I smiled to myself, slightly embarrassed but very pleased. That meant she cared. She must care a lot to dream about me, maybe.

Bella's eyes suddenly flickered open, her eyes almost black in the dark light. Her eyes were immediately on mine, locking my gaze, a small crease working into her forehead. She put one hand on her head, like she was dizzy, and leaned on it to get a better view. Her breathing became rapid and uneven and her heartbeat got a little quicker when she saw my face.

"Jake?"

"You were dreaming of me," I grinned before she could say anything, interrupting my thoughts. I wondered if she could see my wide, smile, but I doubted it, there was no light in this room. Bella felt around for her beside lamp and turned it on, the bulb creating a faint orange light, so a shadow developed under her eyes.

I walked over to her bed and she moved over a little so I could sit down next to her over her covers. I kissed her forehead, closing my eyes and taking in her unique, beautiful smell. I tried to make my kiss as long as possible - she was probably too asleep to even realise it was happening.

"It sounds like me," she replied thoughtfully, "but don't think you can take advantage of me because I'm half-awake,"

"I take my chances as they are given." There was a pause, and Bella said a quiet 'huh' in acknowledgement. It was how I lived my taking my chances, especially with Bella. I wasn't going to let her go in a hurry.

"How come you're here, Jake?" Bella said lightly, suddenly changing the subject.

"I wanted to see you. I couldn't sleep. You're very beautiful when you sleep. Sometimes when you talk, you talk about me. You say my name. It's very interesting."

"Okay Jacob, that sounds totally not stalker-like. " She laughed, and I smiled somewhat at the chiming laughter, filling the room with her song-like voice. It sounded like an old joke, something familiar that had nearly faded. I didn't want to pry because it probably would make her clutch her stomach, as if there was a gaping hole clawing the way through.

"You know me." I put my arm under her head and lay down next to her, my heat radiating into her bed and body. The bed wasn't big but I could relax on it, even if my legs fell off the end. Bella giggled lowly when she saw my legs dangling in the vague light.

"Probably too well." Bella started to relax under my arm, and I watched her. She was beautiful and she wasn't even trying. There are girls that try and cover up their imperfections, they are insecure, and need to look perfect – but they look so much worse, I know a couple of these types of girls. There are girls that don't even care, and completely hurt themselves in the process of neglect; I know loads of these types of girl. But, Bella was a girl like only a few. She could look so beautiful, with no make-up on, her hand tangled, her eyes with purple-blue bruises from little sleep. But she was so beautiful like this. I couldn't imagine a Bella with so much make up on, her face like a cake. That wasn't Bella. Bella was stunning anyhow, and I know it wasn't this damned infatuation. It was much, much more.

I bet she was asleep in about ten minutes flat; my arms were probably a very comfortable place, the muscles were relaxing. She sighed in ease as she lay, and her breathing became a lot lower and calmer. I pushed a bit of her hair from her closed eyes and smiled a bit at my luck. My luck had been sparse, but with Bella nothing ever went wrong. Or, so I thought.

**Authors Note:**

Thank you to all of my current readers for – reading? I'm hoping to get some more reviews – but thanks to all of you guys who helped me out there and commented. See – I am updating quite quickly, because I type very quickly and my ideas can be put into words. So, what I'm saying is thank you for your help and comments. I'm sure if some more people review a little more and favourite it, it just _might _make me write better and faster. Yes, I can write faster and better.


	4. The pain is deep

Chapter Four:_ The Pain is Deep._

I woke up first, the aroma of freshly coffee brewing in the room, the early morning light pouring in through the thin curtains, the cornflower blue cloth fluttering in the breeze from an open window. For a second, I had no idea where I was for a second – the pasty walls, the bronzed floors –but my doubt swelled to luck. Bella's cool body was sprawled across me; her head resting next to mine on my left shoulder, her hair tangled, tickling my face, her lips brushing against my cheek as she turned her head. Every time we touched, I burned inside, my blood boiled in my ravenous mind. One of my hands was entwined with hers, and I stroked her hand carefully, thinking. I didn't open my eyes, and Bella was unresponsive in my arms. I could hear her steady breathing and her heartbeat, and I could feel a half-smile already on my lips. This was crazy, insane. This didn't happen to people like me.

"Bella?" I heard Charlie's gruff voice call from behind the door. There was a hesitant knock on the door; some muttering and then Charlie came in. I could feel his smile as he looked at us, at Bella in my arms, both sleeping, holding hands. He came over to the bed, still talking to himself under his breath, and there was a clink as glass touched the bare bedside table.

"Billy, Billy will be ecstatic." He said, his voice not low enough for me to not listen. Charlie left quietly, taking his thoughts with him, and I couldn't help the smile creep back onto my face.

My eyes flickered open, and the first thing I saw was Bella; her closed eyes, her translucent skin, her heart-shaped face framed by a mass of dark hair. I kissed her head softly, her tangy perfume lingering in my mind; I could taste her flavour on my tongue. I smiled at her, gently sweeping my hand over her collarbone, her high cheekbone. She opened her eyes to expose her chocolate eyes outlined with lashes, widening with the light it was seeking. Bella took one look at my wide smile, and narrowed her eyes, and I smirked back. The first thing she had seen was me, and our gaze had locked instantly. It was difficult to look away, but she untangle my hand.

"Jacob," she whispered, her voice was husky.

"You got it. I thought you'd be delusional or something." I replied, grinning at her stupidly.

I looked at her face, her straight eyebrows pulling closer together as a crease furrowed in her forehead.

"Nothing happened." I reassured her, my eyes sparkling at the thought.

"How did you get here?" She said, after a while of thinking her own thoughts, trying to convince herself of the truth.

"I came through the window." I said, remembering the effortless entry. "You woke up in the middle of the night and you slept in my arms. Is that enough for you?"

"Nope. I have another nineteen questions lined up." She smiled slightly, and then bit her lip. She was obviously very lost in her thoughts and I left her to it. I just thought about the stunning girl who lay in my muscular (very muscular) arms.

At one point in what seemed like a beautiful eternity, Bella turned to face me and curled up near my chest, her legs burning into my bones. It was a comfortable position, and I watched Bella close her eyes slowly, as if she was reluctant to lose my face. I thought she might have been asleep again, but then she lifted her head slightly to look at my face, her eyes tracing every aspect.

"I miss him, Jake." She said softly, her mind flooding with the thoughts that were hidden, deep away. Every time she thought of him, another knife in her side. "And I don't know if I can forget about him, like…" she snapped her finger and thumb together as she spoke, clicking her fingers once in the silence. "That."

"Everything reminds me of him." She continued, oblivious to my pain. "I don't think I can move on that quickly, I really thought he was the one." She laughed bitterly at herself, "God, I sound like one of those cheesy movies..." She paused. "I really thought he loved me. And he's not coming back, is he Jake? He's not."

I actually didn't know what to say. Lie and say he was going to come back, tell her that I was the only one she would ever need, or tell her the truth? Tell her she would be better off… leaving?

"I don't want to make your decisions, Bell. It's breaking me just to hear you talk about him – you know how hard is it to say that? You could start anew. You could start again. You could move and find someone who could help you through this. But I can't – I'm not that kind of guy." I said, my voice was angry and didn't sound like mine. I probably sounded like some maniac – the ordinary Jacob Black.

And then she did something I was not ready for. For a second, we were almost synchronised, and I clasped a hand on her waist as she straightened her legs, putting my hand by her side as I watched her. She shivered at my warm touch and I was about to smile – but stopped.

Okay, stop for a second here. Intermission, whatever. This kind of stuff doesn't happen to me. I don't get a happily ever after, and it would be fake if it was. But this was just getting better.

She ran a cold hand through my short ruffled hair, pulling her face closer to mine. She stopped and thought about her next actions, before I leaned forward and kissed her forehead. Her body uncurled completely, and she was lying mostly on the hard bed. Bella pulled herself up to my height and traced around my lips with her finger lightly. She inclined a little closer and kissed my bottom lip, before I could kiss her. The blood was rushing around too fast for me to think. _She_ had kissed _me_.

And then she drew away, and sat up, my arm still loose around her waist.

"Aren't you going to ask what that was for?" She smiled at me sheepishly, all thoughts of that parasite erased in a moment of pure ecstasy.

"Nope." I grinned back at her, and she opened her mouth like she was about to talk, but then hesitated.

"Well. I'm telling you anyway." She climbed up from my hands, slid over my bed and stood in the middle of the room.

I felt like standing up too, even though it took a little bit longer because I was so much bigger. I stood up in front of her, looking down on her beautiful head.

"I'm a foot taller." I said, admiring her petite size.

"Shut up." She shoved me, and I looked at her with an eyebrow raised. "Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?" I lied, laughing at her.

"Like that." She did a weird impression of me, a brow raised quizzically.

"Why are we standing?" I asked – my mind whirling randomly.

"I wanted to tell you something important, and I thought it would be better standing. But, Jake, I can't concentrate with you being half-naked."

I raised the eyebrow higher. "Oh. Are you offended by my six-pack?" I said, grinning as she looked at me, and she couldn't help almost smiling too.

"Yes," She laughed softly, and then looked at me once again.

"What was so important we had to stand?"

She looked at me through wide eyes, which glittered in the light. Her face was mostly light, highlighting the features I liked the most, her deep eyes and strong cupid bow. And she took a step forward, and I kept strong on her gaze. She leaned closer, and kissed me very gently. It was a short but very sweet kiss.

"That should have been our first kiss, huh." I told her, and she just nodded and blushed a little, going the colour of roses in the summer months.

"So, where do we go from here?" I continued.

She bit her lip slightly, and clasped her hand around her waist, trying to hide the hole that was gaping in her stomach. It was hurting her, and I wanted to try and make it better. It might have been the wrong thing to say at this time, when the memories were still fresh and ripe.

"I don't know." And she almost collapsed on the bed in her pain. I came and sat next to her, wrapping my hand behind her back to hold the hand that was so desperately clutching at her hip.

Once again, I kissed her forehead, closing my eyes and breathing her in. She looked deep into my eyes, her eyes much bigger than usual. I had done something wrong.

"Don't you know when you've had enough luck?" She whispered furiously at me, folding her arms and turning towards the long glass of squeezed orange that sat on the table beside her.

"I don't know." I replied truthfully, replaying what she had said with my voice.

"Jake, that's the only problem. Sometimes you don't know when to stop. And it's going to hurt someone. It's going to hurt me, Jacob. It's hurting me now. I love you very much, but you can never be as strangely perfect he was for me."

I had no idea of what to say. The oxygen tangled in my throat and choked, my heart twisted and broke into two pieces, I was bleeding, I was injured. The rage came, coming to the surface almost immediately, and I tried to swallow it.

**Authors Note:**

I took on a bit of a different twist there, mm? Well, I hoped you liked it. If you have any suggestions or just want to review, it would help me write and I have a certain number before I will release the next chapter! I really loved writing this, and Bella will be back! So don't worry, leave me a review and I'll give you a cookie;] 3


End file.
